Wellness works: Encouraging the will for change

by Susan Rudnicki

When a child does well, it is natural for a parent to want to reward that performance. “You got an A on your test; let’s celebrate with ice cream.” Sound familiar? More children are overweight today than those in previous generations. The childhood obesity rate has tripled since 1980, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Georgia’s statistics are quite concerning, with an alarming 37% of children ages 10-17 considered to be overweight.

Consequently, children today are at greater risk of developing diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. Parents who reward good behavior with junk food may unknowingly be contributing to these disturbing health statistics and the obesity epidemic in America.

It appears that one of the greatest challenges to addressing pediatric obesity is to truly understand the underlying reasons for parents’ choices of reinforcement methods that encourage a damaging association between food and behavior.

Experts have speculated about this shift in parental strategies over the last few decades. Our society encourages a fast-paced, quick turn-around lifestyle, leading families to expect immediate outcomes. Further, the American family experiences increased stress due to demanding work schedules for both parents, competitive prerequisites for college entry (such as demonstrating children’s active involvements in clubs, organizations, etc.) and financial pressures.

In addition, parents tend to act out of guilt for not being able to spend enough quality time with their kids, leading them to quickly acknowledge their children’s successes in the most time- and cost-efficient manner rather than by taking time to provide adaptive emotional reinforcement. During family therapy sessions, parents often are seen to struggle with knowing the appropriate types of reinforcements to provide to their children.

The long-term results are that, instead of benefitting from a useful behavioral intervention method, children become “victims” of classic conditioning.

Children learn not only to reward their own performance with poor food choices, but they also may learn to engage in emotional eating as a coping mechanism when confronted with life’s obstacles. These destructive behaviors can lead to overeating or binge-eating rather than to adaptive mechanisms of establishing healthy boundaries and decision-making processes that could have been taught if the method had been applied with a more appropriate reward.

This analysis allows us, as parents, to acknowledge that a large part of the responsibility for the obesity problem lies within a microcosm of changing family dynamics. Parents miss the mark when they focus only on what children are served at school or at their friends’ or grandparents’ houses, out of their controlled environment. It is not what they are served to eat in an environment that is important, but it is how they learn to manage their eating behaviors.

Children can still be rewarded for their achievements and noble behavior, though with non-edible treats. Express love to your child unconditionally with smiles, hugs or any activity that counts as positive quality time. Remember that these unconditional goodies are most effective when given during pleasant times as well as during times of distress.

These rewarding parent-child exchanges plant the seeds for healthy interpersonal attachments, which will spark children’s intrinsic motivation and internal will (rather than being manipulated by external rewards) to achieve their potential and take responsibility for choosing fruitful – not sickeningly sweet – growth experiences. As Anne Frank stated, “Parents can only give good advice or put them [children] on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.”

Editor’s note: Dr. Susan Rudnicki is a clinical health psychologist, certified personal trainer, wellness speaker and owner of SusanPh.D.com Mind & Body in Dunwoody, therapy practice and fitness studio. Website is www.SusanPhd.com; email susan@susanphd.com.